How to Find Your Soul Mate

So, we've all seen them... the numerous blog posts circulating around the internet, on all the social networking sights posted and reposted on the topic of.... you guessed it: relationships. We all wanna know how to fall in love the best way possible way, without too much sacrifice or heartbreak. I get it. Trouble is I think we get too wrapped up in being in love with the idea of love that we miss the reason God gave us this gift to begin with. I am sure we have all heard a million different perspectives and on a right and wrong way to date, but I think we can all agree that dating is a means to an end, either it ends in marriage or in a breakup and I think it's important to know what you are getting into before we jump onto the next relationship train that comes our way.

"LaFawnduh is the best thing that has ever happened to me. 100% positive she's my soul mate. Don't worry Napoleon, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you too. Peace Out."

Earlier today I was asked the question: What's your philosophy on dating? Do you date to get to know a guy or date only guys that you see a definite potential for a marriage partner in?  I have had enough bad relationships and enough people in my life that care about me to support me in the midst of all of that, not just in giving me advice but also in leading by example in their marriages or dating relationships, that I can honestly say, I think it should be a bit of both. Personally, I think you are wasting your time and being foolish with your emotions and not guarding your heart if you are dating just for the sake of dating, just to have fun. On the other hand, it's understandable that you will rarely know right away where a relationship will end up. It is a journey of two people walking together to discover the mysteries of one another, to discover the mysteries of God together and in a lot of ways to begin to understand more about who we are as individuals too, and it should be fun! But it can be hard too. It's important to have a firm stance on who we are before we try to bring another person into that mess. Don't get me wrong, our lives will always be messy and God help us if we ever feel like we have it all figured out, but when we are confident in our Identity in Christ our identities as couples I think are that much stronger as well. 

That being said, dating should bring us to an understanding of who we are in the picture of Christ loving His Bride, the Church, and laying His life down for her (Ephesians 5:25). Relationships of any sense are meant to resemble this in their very nature. Even friendships, when we truly care about the people in our lives and are walking in obedience with Jesus, we should die to ourselves and learn to serve one another. Relationships in general are about sacrifice, encouragement and bettering one another in mutual respect and love. All of it should point the world towards the love of Christ. We are called to love. So what about this notion of "Soul Mates"? Are we destined to be with one person for all of eternity? In some ways, I think we are. God has given us a free will to choose in all aspects of life. To choose whether or not we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, to choose to be obedient to Him, to choose our jobs, our schools, how we interact with the people in our lives.... God gives us the free will to choose who we will end up with as well. 

The way I see it is this: if God calls us to be missionaries or teachers or rockstars or business men and women... or if He calls us to certain places like Africa or Los Angeles, Seattle, Chiago, or Thailand or Norway, etc... then it would make sense that God would call us to people as well. God draws two people together and calls them to love each other in the same way that He loves, for their lives to reflect His. In the same way that we have a choice whether or not we are obedient to the things God calls us to, we have a choice to love the people God has called us to as well, granted that there are usually hard consequences to choosing the opposite of what God has called us to. The story of Jonah is a classic example. Point is, God knows our hearts so well that He knows who will work well together and who will bring Him the most glory when in partnership with one another. Love is a choice after all, one that we must continue to choose long after the feelings of being "in love" have faded away. It means laying down your life for your relationships. If we truly love God and obey His commands, it is inevitable that we will wind up in the places and with the people that we are meant to be with, especially if we seek God and allow Him to form and mold our hearts. I have learned over the past four years that as God draws us closer to Him, then He will draw us closer to one another. The more we pursue Him in worship, the more He makes our hearts like His and begins to conform our will to His. The more we learn about His heart, the more our hearts begin to love the things, places and people that He loves

. 

So, if we choose who we end up with, and we choose to be obedient to God with who we are called to, then how do we find our soul mate? By fixing our eyes on Jesus who is the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:1) and He will bring us into the center of His will. As we draw closer to our Savior, the closer we will be toward the one we are called to spend our lives and all of eternity with and I don’t know about you, but it’s the only love triangle that I ever want to be part of!