In Psalm 57, one of my heroes of the Bible writes: "My heart, oh God, is steadfast. My heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music. Awake, my soul! Awake harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn."
David writes this psalm right after fleeing from a friend who has not only turned his back on him, yet tried to kill him. David has escaped the wrath of Saul and his attempts to kill him several times, and yet he sings! He praises God. I have always loved David gift of prophetic pen, but more than that even, I have loved his authenticity. I love how raw and unashamed a man of Royal stature can be! It's difficult enough I feel for any given person, in any given position in life to be real and vulnerable with what's going on in life. Let alone to have a man, a king, and one of great influence.... bearing his soul through song and pen!
When I read this verse, this Psalm.... I am struck by the fact that David is obviously being attacked in a very tangible way, and toward the beginning of the Psalm, he admits his struggle with the circumstances: "I am in the midst of lions; I am forced to dwell among ravenous beasts- men who's teeth are spears and arrows, who's tongues are sharpened swords." He is not hiding his turmoil, and yet.... he sings! Not a bluesy, melancholic song.... a song of praise, of hope. Why? How is that he is able to praise God, when he is literally attempting to preserve his life? By commanding his heart that God is higher than his emotions. "Awake, my soul!" Wake up, soul! Look at your God! Look at who He is! And praise Him, for He is worthy!
It occurs to me as I read David's outpouring of his heart, his realness, his vulnerability and his honesty.... He is calling forth something within Him to rise up! Something that he knows is there, because he's seen it. David knows that he loves God and that God is worthy to be praised, but to be honest..... "I don't feel like it" is a rut that many of us find ourselves in. I have myself struggled through just going through the motions of reading my Bible, or worship because it's what you do at church.... and church is what you do on the weekends if you love Jesus right?
There is something so wrong about that way of thinking. Not to excuse that behavior or thought process, but we are human, and I take comfort in knowing that one of the Biblical Greats struggled with that too. But he knew it was in his heart to love God and to trust God and to worship Him, even when his flesh was fighting it full force. David understood that his soul- mind, will and emotions- were not always on board with what his spirit wanted. The words of Jesus to His disciples reflected this truth as well.... "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." So David, set an example by commanding his soul to get in line with his spirit. "Awake my soul and sing!" I was reminded this past Summer, when I was at the Pasadena International House of Prayer, in the prayer room 90% of the time this Summer... yet somehow stuff finding myself in a funk, and being frustrated with myself because "I just didn't feel like praying or worshiping." Even though I wanted to want. to. My spiritual father, Jason, reminded me of this truth. "Come on my soul, let down your walls and sing!"** That truth came up a lot this past Summer, and about halfway through the semester , I am being reminded of how easy it is to just accept "not feeling like it" and just be frustrated with ourselves. When we step out in faith to do what we want to want to do toward intimacy with God- He not only knows and sees our hearts, but He honors that as well. In His grace and Mercy he meets us right where we're at and carries us where we need to be, bringing breakthrough in are lives where we need it.
"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" ~Hebrews 4:14-16
**Lyrics from Rend Collective: Come On My Soul
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