Advent: Waiting on Hope

With Christmas upon us, naturally I have been thinking a lot about the Christ child, the promised Messiah and Savior of the world. Contrary to popular belief, or American Commercialism, this is the entire reason for the season. As I have been meditating on how a tiny babe could change this world forever, I was struck with the fact that the Israelite nation had been waiting hundreds, if not thousands of years for their promised Savior to finally arrive on the scene. The nation of Israel had waited four hundred years between the Old Testament prophets and when John the Baptist graced the world with his presence, right before Jesus made his debut! The very reality of Mary, a young girl, finding favor with God and being chosen to carry the promise has always been dear to my heart. Crazy to think about her faith and courage, her ability to trust God in the midst of such a calling! Knowing full well it would mean a lifetime of being rejected and misunderstood, she accepted that call. But even thinking about a natural pregnancy and how parents wait in hopeful expectation for their child- the fruit of their love for each other... Christ was the very embodiment of God's love for us, divinity in flesh. This story is so much bigger than any of us could ever fully begin to comprehend!

I think the traditional carol, "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" sums it up well, as it walks through various aspects of what the Bible speaks of from 40 years in the wilderness, revealing His glory on Mount Sinai. He spelled out the law for His people to point the way to the Savior to remind us of our need for the Christ. Again with David, the promise of his decendent that would never leave the throne, prophecy after prophecy told of a man who would come to save us, a child born to die as redeemer and recompense for our failings. As the words ring out in their hauntingly beautiful melody: 

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

And ransom captive Israel

That mourns in lonely exile here 

Until the Son of God appear

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel

Shall come to thee, O Israel

O come thou Rod of Jesse free

Thine own from Satan's tyranny

From depth of Hell Thy people save

And give them victory o'er the grave

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel

Shall come to thee O Israel

So what does this say about our God? It speaks volumes about his faithfulness and His perfect timing. This profound truth of advent reveals that God has had a plan all along, from the very beginning. Mary didn't just wait for her baby, Israel was awaiting their Messiah and the world their Savior. God always fulfills His promises in His timing, in spite of the fact that we are constantly trying to make these promises happen in our own ways, when we think they should happen. As I ponder the message of Christmas once again this year, I not only ponder what the birth of Christ meant then, but more importantly what does mean to us now? These promises that God set in motion from the foundations of the earth are still in effect today. Jesus is still the Savior and Lord over two thousand years after He walked the earth in human form. On a personal note, I am nearing the seven year anniversary of when I first accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and it has been a daily decision since then of choosing to obey and to trust Him. Jesus rescued me from a FLDS community, but more importantly He saved me from myself. The Christmas season has always been special to me, but even more so since that day. 

That being said, I have stood apart from the majority of my family as far as my faith goes and have been praying for them during these past seven years for sure. This year as I reflect on the promises of God, I am deeply encouraged by the hope that the Advent of Christ brings. Not only that the promised salvation for the world came in the form of a humble and vulnerable baby, but that it meant salvation for me. I am continuing to believe that it will mean Salvation for my family someday as well. Thinking on the hundreds of other promises God has given me, no matter how great or small, the fact that God showed up, fulfilled every prophecy about the coming Messiah gives me reason enough to trust in his faithfulness in my life as well. Lately I have been reminded of these promises. I think I am realizing more than ever how scary it is to dream, it's scary to place our futures in someone else's hands. On top of all that patience is hard! Waiting can hurt. But it is all part of a process.  Growth takes time, and yes it can be painful. We learn so much during that time. I think part of the reason Christ entered this world as an infant and allowed Mary to carry Him in her womb was to give us a picture of that waiting period, not to mention the painful birthing process, labor pains and all. The dream and promise of God given to the Holy Virgin must have been hard to trust that God meant what He said. How much more so, to patiently wait upon the Lord to see the fruit of that promise? But as Mary soon learned through the process of carrying this child, God will move when He is ready, when He knows that moment is perfect! He arrived when the world was finally at peace, after hundreds of years of war and exile, although Israel was still under oppression, there was not a single war on the earth at that time! Often times what God is doing in the spirit, will be made manifest in the natural. So in the moment of the birth of Jesus, born as a helpless babe, everything that Christ was, and is and would become in His ministry on the Earth was revealed. 

God was faithful to fulfill his promise. Not only the promise made to Mary as individual, but the promises made to His people. And God will keep His promises to us, even if it takes four hundred years, I know the Lord will do what He said He will do. As it says in 2 Peter 3:8-9, "Do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow about His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance." Yes waiting is hard, it is often times painful, but it is then we know that our dreams and the promise that God has given us matter. It wouldn't hurt if we didn't care, and often times the pain shows us that we are alive, that we are real and that we can feel. If a promise is important to us we will not give up that easily, we will cling to that hope until the end. God has never once failed us, nor has He ever once given up on us, in spite of the thousands of times we might have deserved it. He is faithful. So even now, as we celebrate this birth of the Messiah, we continue to wait, in hopeful expectation for the birth of each promise that has ever been conceived in our hearts. For we know in the right time, we will see the birth of these promises fulfilled. Hallelujah! Praise Him for He alone is worthy! 

"We eagerly await a Savior... the Lord Jesus Christ."

Philippians 3:20

Disturbing the Comfortable

I have never really been one to hide what I am feeling. Although I will be the first to admit that there are still areas for growth and maturity in that, it is a pretty big part of who I am. I wear my heart on my sleeve. It would be easy to just write me off as a typical emotional girl, much like my father always did as I was growing up. Dad learned though after having six daughters that emotions are part of life and sometimes it's better to just own up to them than to try to stuff them. I know woman that are not at all the type to cry or share their feelings, and that's okay. Doesn't mean they are wrong or even that I am wrong... it just means we are different. God designed us all with our own unique personalities, all to be used for His glory if we learn to surrender them to Him and allow our hearts to be the clay in the hands of the potter. I was reminded of this beautiful creativity that God has put on display in each of us while talking with some friends over our differences in theological views. God pointed me to 1 Corinthians 12:15-26 where Paul is laying out the beauty of diversity in the body of Christ. Paul exclaims, "The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I don't need you!' And the head cannot say to the feet, 'I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor." I am learning this more than ever! Along with that I am learning to find my place in the midst of it all. This past week or so especially, since one of the respected leaders, who has earned their place as a voice in my life, challenged me in this area. Call me crazy, but I love it when people challenge me to grow. However, since this is a very personal aspect of my life and an area that I have struggled with throughout, it has left me in a very vulnerable place that has left me with a few things to wrestle with.

Growing up in a highly conservative Fundamentalist Mormon community that lies hidden away in the mountains of western Montana, I have always had a pretty ingrained view on how my life should be lived as a woman. Although some of those ideals and expectations were often unspoken they were prevalent nonetheless. The commonly accepted views that women were meant to submit, serve, grow up to be one of many wives and to keep the home in perfect order and make as many babies as possible was one that ruled my world and my family. I guess I have always known that this was not the life that I was created for. I knew that my life was made to look vastly different than what the cultural expectation had placed upon me. Even now that I have left behind much of that world and have been thrown into the conservative Christian church world, I am finding that some of those same unspoken expectations of women are carrying over. This perspective is especially prevalent when talking to one of my closest guy friends about what it means to be a "real man" and how he finds it difficult to relate to men that bake and do photography. It's frustrating really, to see what culture and society expect of us as individuals, rather than realizing the benefits of our differences. For us women in the more conservative Christian views we are taught to submit, some people believe it is even sinful for women to be in positions in which they lead. Again, I struggle with this perspective. I know God has called me to be a leader, He created me for more.

You see I am a very expressive person, very relational. It's hard for me not to wear my heart on my sleeve or to stay silent when I feel that there is an injustice. It got me into trouble a lot growing up in my family, but I know God called me to be someone who will fight for the sake of love, to fight for the cause of Christ. Not only that, but God has called me to be a person of influence. This past Summer I came to the realization that to be a person of influence can be in the role of anything from a stay at home mother and wife, the career I am pursuing as a teacher, through writing, through my dream and calling to write music... there are no limits to the ways that God can use me and shine His light through me. Regardless, God has undeniably called me to be one who challenges the cultural norms.... in fact I think that is what we are all called to as Christians. Point being I have had a lot going against me. Being a very sensitive or emotional person, I feel like that brings about a battle of its own. I have had several leaders or people at church or other Christian circles tell me that I was too intense, too emotional.... that I was making them uncomfortable. Yet, somehow those that knew me well, that I would mentor or invest in seemed to be just fine with my "intensity." I will admit I can be pretty raw, but in my opinion the best relationships, the best ministries for that matter, often are. From what I read in the scriptures, I like to think Jesus was this way in many respects. Those that know my heart continue to stick around or keep coming back. I praise God for this, because He designed me to be intensely relational. It is because of Him and for His Glory, and I will admit, I battle with this identity a lot. Not that I would change any part of it, but it certainly comes with a price.

Regardless, this has always been who I was to the point that I refused to take antidepressants in high school because the feelings that it evoked felt fake. I would rather feel horrible, then to feel like the smiles I wore were masks created by the pills I took. A few weeks ago I was once again called out on my "tossed by the waves" image that people apparently get from the their first impressions and I listened to what this person had to say, heard him out and tried to see where his heart was coming from, taking all with a grain of salt. Truth be told, I wrestled with this for almost 2 weeks. As I sought the Lord as to whether or not this was who I was created to be or if this was a false identity I had owned up to, the Lord encouraged me in my identity in Him. I have been reading through Jeremiah and realized that the man that has been known as "the weeping prophet" was much the same as I. The Lord also reminded me of David and his ability to push boundaries with everything from his boldness to take on a giant, being a young and scrawny kid, or dancing violently before the Lord in passion, or his many Psalms written from a raw and very vulnerable heart. I have come to realize that every part of my heart, even the rough and unrefined places, the Lord can and will use for His glory, as long as I am living in a place of surrender, looking to Jesus to define me, rather than culture, or even the church and well-meaning people in my life. I have been created and called to be an artist. The long running mantra, "Art disturbs the comfortable and comforts the disturbed" is running through my mind a lot lately... Is that not the very thing that David did? The calling the Lord has for me is not an easy one, yet I know beyond a doubt it will be worth it, it already has been in so many ways! The things that God calls us to are rarely easy... but it is not about being liked by others anyways, it's about making Him famous. I know I can handle not being liked, as long as I know that I am loved. I thank God my place is in Him. 

How to Find Your Soul Mate

So, we've all seen them... the numerous blog posts circulating around the internet, on all the social networking sights posted and reposted on the topic of.... you guessed it: relationships. We all wanna know how to fall in love the best way possible way, without too much sacrifice or heartbreak. I get it. Trouble is I think we get too wrapped up in being in love with the idea of love that we miss the reason God gave us this gift to begin with. I am sure we have all heard a million different perspectives and on a right and wrong way to date, but I think we can all agree that dating is a means to an end, either it ends in marriage or in a breakup and I think it's important to know what you are getting into before we jump onto the next relationship train that comes our way.

"LaFawnduh is the best thing that has ever happened to me. 100% positive she's my soul mate. Don't worry Napoleon, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you too. Peace Out."

Earlier today I was asked the question: What's your philosophy on dating? Do you date to get to know a guy or date only guys that you see a definite potential for a marriage partner in?  I have had enough bad relationships and enough people in my life that care about me to support me in the midst of all of that, not just in giving me advice but also in leading by example in their marriages or dating relationships, that I can honestly say, I think it should be a bit of both. Personally, I think you are wasting your time and being foolish with your emotions and not guarding your heart if you are dating just for the sake of dating, just to have fun. On the other hand, it's understandable that you will rarely know right away where a relationship will end up. It is a journey of two people walking together to discover the mysteries of one another, to discover the mysteries of God together and in a lot of ways to begin to understand more about who we are as individuals too, and it should be fun! But it can be hard too. It's important to have a firm stance on who we are before we try to bring another person into that mess. Don't get me wrong, our lives will always be messy and God help us if we ever feel like we have it all figured out, but when we are confident in our Identity in Christ our identities as couples I think are that much stronger as well. 

That being said, dating should bring us to an understanding of who we are in the picture of Christ loving His Bride, the Church, and laying His life down for her (Ephesians 5:25). Relationships of any sense are meant to resemble this in their very nature. Even friendships, when we truly care about the people in our lives and are walking in obedience with Jesus, we should die to ourselves and learn to serve one another. Relationships in general are about sacrifice, encouragement and bettering one another in mutual respect and love. All of it should point the world towards the love of Christ. We are called to love. So what about this notion of "Soul Mates"? Are we destined to be with one person for all of eternity? In some ways, I think we are. God has given us a free will to choose in all aspects of life. To choose whether or not we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, to choose to be obedient to Him, to choose our jobs, our schools, how we interact with the people in our lives.... God gives us the free will to choose who we will end up with as well. 

The way I see it is this: if God calls us to be missionaries or teachers or rockstars or business men and women... or if He calls us to certain places like Africa or Los Angeles, Seattle, Chiago, or Thailand or Norway, etc... then it would make sense that God would call us to people as well. God draws two people together and calls them to love each other in the same way that He loves, for their lives to reflect His. In the same way that we have a choice whether or not we are obedient to the things God calls us to, we have a choice to love the people God has called us to as well, granted that there are usually hard consequences to choosing the opposite of what God has called us to. The story of Jonah is a classic example. Point is, God knows our hearts so well that He knows who will work well together and who will bring Him the most glory when in partnership with one another. Love is a choice after all, one that we must continue to choose long after the feelings of being "in love" have faded away. It means laying down your life for your relationships. If we truly love God and obey His commands, it is inevitable that we will wind up in the places and with the people that we are meant to be with, especially if we seek God and allow Him to form and mold our hearts. I have learned over the past four years that as God draws us closer to Him, then He will draw us closer to one another. The more we pursue Him in worship, the more He makes our hearts like His and begins to conform our will to His. The more we learn about His heart, the more our hearts begin to love the things, places and people that He loves

. 

So, if we choose who we end up with, and we choose to be obedient to God with who we are called to, then how do we find our soul mate? By fixing our eyes on Jesus who is the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:1) and He will bring us into the center of His will. As we draw closer to our Savior, the closer we will be toward the one we are called to spend our lives and all of eternity with and I don’t know about you, but it’s the only love triangle that I ever want to be part of!